OLT-38

(Românã)
frunze galbene
după frunze verzi
o barcă pleacă
molcom de la ţărm -
îndrăgostiți îmbrățișați

(English)
yellow leaves
after green leaves
a boat leaves 
softly the foreshore -
an embrace of lovers

(Français)
feuilles jaunes
après des feuilles vertes
un bateau quitte
doucement le rivage - 
le baiser des les amoureux

(Nihongo 日本語)
aoba no ato ni 青葉の後に
kōyō 黄葉
fune wa 船は
koibito no hōyō  恋人の抱擁
kishi o sotto hanaremasu 岸をそっと離れます


Tanka Origins no.2, December

Many thanks to An'ya for accepted my tanka for publication and her comment:
„Clearly in this tanka by Steliana, it's autumn and lovers are parting. Star-crossed lovers perhaps, and not just parting, but parting possibly forever after. The really unique thing in this write, is the use of the word "leaves", in line one and two as nouns, and in line three as the verb. An effective way to show how well repetition can enhance a tanka. Upon first reading this might go unnoticed, but half of a successful tanka is up to the reader.”


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